Finally, An Update!

Shalom, friends, and thanks for nagging me enough to start posting again. :) No reply from the mystery commentator, and I am moving on from that mess. No worries.

So, in the two months it's taken me to start this up again, a lot of stuff has happened that has really shaped the way I view the world and the way I view myself and others. My travels have taken me to western Illinois, Colorado, and finally Massachusetts and Maine. The scarce months of summer have become the beginnings of my grand adventure.

However, the beginnings of my summer were not as grand as I originally envisioned. I mulled and stewed at home for an entire month trying to acquire a job, with little success. Everything I wanted to accomplish over the summer required sufficient funds to do so, and without a job, I was in a bad spot. Although the choices were limited, as few businesses were appparently hiring, I eventually landed a job working for a new restaurant that recently opened in town, as a waiter. So thankfully, that issue was resolved, and now I have a job.

The first trip taken was down to the little town of Tiskilwa, Illinois, to attend my second PAPA (People Against Poverty and Apathy) Festival on the Plowcreek farm. The byline for the event was "A convergence of communities and movements," but it was so much more than that. There were 750 of us camped out in a field for a long weekend, and our days (and nights) were packed with excitement. During the mornings, we had learning sessions, where we could hear people speak on different topics, such as "Dismantling the Empire," "Jesus for President," and several others about community, poverty, anarchy, and other larger focuses. Then there was an open mic concert after lunch, and after that, we ran through another round of sessions. These, however, were focused more towards different skills that we could learn to better our world and ourselves. These sessions ranged from West African drumming, circus acts, an informative talk on pilgrimage, and the lost art of pie baking. The latter session was one that merited the most excitement and pictures, as Nick and I were overjoyed to have baked a delicious peach pie all on our own. This excitement resulted in the "Pie High," which is documented among other photos here: PAPAFEST. And that was my adventure for June. It was great to have the time with my family, as well as two other families that joined us, and Nick and Taylor. Memories were made, and hopefully will be made again the next time around.

Once July rolled around, things began to get crazy. The first adventure of the month occurred from the 8th to the 14th, when I traveled to Colorado into the Rocky Mountain National Park. Thankfully, my friend Natalie was willing to pick me up from the airport and opened her house to me for the night, as my flight got in around 9 at night. The next morning, she dropped me off at the Lumpy Ridge Trailhead on the eastern end of the park, with nothing but a pack on my shoulders and a warm farewell. I set off into the mountains for 5 nights on my own, to the concern of my parents and friends. However, I was prepared with a bear rope, water purifying tablets, a knife, plenty of food, a compass and map, rain gear, and all the other items I was constantly reminded about in the weeks beforehand. I made a 12-mile loop over those 5 nights, staying at three campsites. The middle site I was at was the Lawn Lake site, which I recommend for anyone traveling to that area of the world. It was breathtaking, placed right on the lake-front, with a smattering of nearby sites that were comforting yet not intrusive. On the 4th day, I hiked up to the Saddle, an amazing overlook between the Mummy and Fairchild peaks. I half-expected Julie Andrews to come running out singing the hills are alive with the sound of music! It was very alpine, very beautiful, and definitely somewhere I'd return. During that trip, I had a lot of time to sit and read Thoreau (which I found quite fitting), and think, and it made me realize how much I need other people in my life. Looking back, even though it was wonderful there, it was also the loneliest place I have ever been. Perhaps I'll type up my journal of my time there, and if anyone wants to hear more about it, about my bear story, or anything else, send me an email anytime. Oh, and here are the pictures: COLORADO.

And currently, I reside in Harrison, Maine, in the company of my mother's family, in the same small town I've come to every summer for 20 years. However, this year, we did make the usual trip to my dad's parents' house in Massachusetts, and the exception to the rule was the two day venture to Bar Harbor, to see Acadia Nat'l Forest. While it was a little foggy, it was still a gorgeous hike through the woods with my family. We stayed in a hostel for the night, which has always been a good experience, and then drove back down to Harrison. It's beautiful here as well, with two lakes nearby (one right across the street, practically), and an old dusty house to explore and write about. I'll be getting back into Stoughton on Sunday night, and there will be pictures eventually. For now, I remain here, still adventuring each day.

Each day, for today, for arête,
-Caleb-

...

There have been a couple comments lately that were directed at me and addressed issues discussed in the last post. I don't know if this is just one person or two, but right now that doesn't matter. They were posted anonymously, and so this is to whomever is writing:

I'm sorry if there's anything I've done that has offended you in any way. I'm doing my best to let my actions mirror my words, and sometimes that doesn't always happen. The things you wrote were pretty bold things to say, and I'd like to give you my perspective on such issues and offer some explanation for any questions you might have as well.

I know that you're someone who knows me, because of your references to the past and what your perception of me back then was like. It's unfortunate that you made your comment(s) anonymous, because I would really like to have a conversation about the things you said, but I don't know who you are. If you would like to email me, my email is cwarner19@gmail.com, or if you know me well enough to have my number, give me a call and we'll sit down and talk about it. You obviously care enough about me to call me out on something you perceived in my writing, so talk to me; don't just let your words become empty without a name behind them.

So, in a nutshell, you said a lot, I'd like to talk, don't know your name, would like to so we can have a decent conversation. Please get back to me if you can.

-Caleb-

What I Learned, and What I Learned For

Shalom, friends.

So, it's been another 40 days, and tomorrow I'll start wearing regular clothes again, rather than a white t-shirt and jeans. The main thing that's been on my mind this week about this deal is whether or not it was worth it, whether I actually learned something. Honestly, I was scared for a while that I hadn't learned anything, that it didn't count because it was too easy. All I did was cut my hair and put on the same clothes everyday. It really got to the point where I wasn't even thinking about it anymore. Naturally, I began to assume that if this was my dominant mindset, then I had gained nothing from the experience except an easier way to dress.

Right now, I feel pretty good about the whole thing. I suppose that, just like the fasting over Lent, I have isolated the problem of idolizing something trivial in my life, and tried my best to wean myself of such thought processes. During all this time, I have summarized my thoughts into two points. 1) I realize that I think way too much about what people will think of me based on what I put on or what my hair looks like in the morning. I have also fallen into a pattern of deriving my identity through the style of my hair and dress, and I don't think I should do that anymore. And 2) I have seen that almost all of my shirts and pants were made in countries where sweatshop labor still thrives and workers are still exploited. I don't think I want to wear symbols of those things anymore either.

So, I'll be making my own clothes over the summer and giving most of my clothes I have now away to people who actually need them. Other than that, it's been another wonderful learning experience and another step down my path towards arête. I don't really know what the next step will be, but you'll know eventually. Thanks for reading.

-Caleb-

Arête

Shalom, friends.

So, I've gotten some comments from people at school and at home, asking me, "What is this word arête that you keep throwing around and saying 'Seek arête, seek arête'?" Now you get to find out.

Arête was defined as virtue or excellence by the Greeks, specifically Aristotle, in whom the word found a high usage. Wikipedia defines it as the fulfillment of purpose or function; the act of living up to one's full potential. I came to define it as the highest form of living that humans can aspire to. Gerard Manley Hopkins has another word for basically the same thing--inscape. He derived the concept to mean the distinctive design that constitutes individual identity. He also thought that every object has an inscape, and we can perceive this through instress, but only through divine intervention or assistance. This seems to me to be relatively the same idea as arête.

I was originally introduced to this phrase in my English 215 class, when we read through The Odyssey. Another phrase that seems to correlate to this same thought process, and is in Latin this time (and is also from a Lit class, one I'm taking right now), is "Paulo maiora canamus," which translates roughly to "Let us sing of somewhat higher things." These two words and phrases became icons for me as I went through Lent, and as I finish up the next set of 40 days with my focus on humility of appearance.

So there you go, the lowdown on arête. More on clothes, dating, and the essence of Christianity coming soon.

FOOD! AND LASERS!

Hurray for a new look!

I took the picture on top this winter. It's from atop the train tracks by the Forton Street Bridge in Stoughton. I'm thinking that I'll change it once the seasons change, but keep taking it from the same spot.

So I'll be taking the trip back home in another two weeks, and I can't wait. Even though this year has gone by so fast, I'm really surprised that I made it this far. For all the fun I've had, and all the things I've learned, right now I really just want to be home and be with my family. That sounded a lot more melodramatic and whiney than I tried to make it sound. Oh well.


PS - highlight of my week: making super awesome 7 layer bars! Here's some more pictures:

This picture was taken by shining a Class 3A laser into the lens of my camera.

Burrito Goodness

Shalom, friends.

Just wanted to say: finals suck and Qdoba is a great way to take my mind off of them.




Doesn't that look delicious? Yum.

(im)patient

Shalom, friends.

I feel like I'm standing on the verge of another great change in my life.

I feel like it's on the tip of my tongue, and I can't quite say anything.

I feel like all the deadwood, all the chaff, all the rubbish and rubble in my life that's keeping me from changing is being cleared and burnt away.

and i'm impatient

I feel -

I feel like I'm on fire.

One Month

Shalom, friends.

April comes, and with it brings no respite from the books. Tomorrow is the first of the month, and from there until the 8th of May, I will remain here and crunch out the final days of my first year at Wheaton. Sounds pretty dire once I put it that way, doesn't it? Well, it's not. So stop worrying.

I think this larger chunk of time without a long weekend or extra day here and there will somehow, somehow, help me to buckle down and work out the wrinkles in how I define myself--no scratch that, begin to work out those wrinkles--while still getting a better opportunity to focus on my schoolwork.

Other than that, I have the summer to look forward to, full of bartending, mowing lawns, and chilling with the chillun's down at the youth center. I hope to do some heavy writing over the months as well, meaning more than just a poem a month. At this point, it's not even anything right now. The summer will help. The summer will come. Yet, the summer is not everything. Remember these thoughts, Caleb. Ok. That's all for now. Thanks.

You know the drill,
-Caleb-

Bagel of Joy

Shalom, friends.

I can't think of a time when food has tasted better than yesterday morning. There I was, sitting at my grandmother's table in Indiana, eating a delicious cinnamon bagel with cream cheese slathered over it, already melting. Any other morning, it would have been an ordinary meal, but after not eating for 7 days and only eating dinner for 33 days before that, it was the best bagel I've ever tasted.

Just thought I'd share that with you,
-Caleb-

The Next Forty Days

Shalom, friends.

EASTER approches, and brings with it changes, anticipation, and hair loss.

TO begin, I have been thinking a considerable amount about the idea of abstinence. Not the sex version that everyone always thinks of when they hear the word, but the dictionary definition. Dictionary.com defines abstinence as "any self-restraint, self-denial, or forbearance." This year, I have celebrated the Lenten season for the first time, and the main focus of Lent is the idea of abstinence. That is why people give up something for Lent, something they want and indulge in frequently. Giving up something like chocolate does not line up with the idea of Lent, because unless you idolize chocolate or eating it hinders your communication with God, you are not recognizing Lent in the way it was orginally intended. All this is to say that I began with giving up video games for Lent, because I was using too much of my time to zonk out to a TV or computer screen.

ANOTHER thing that has changed my life dramatically during Lent has been my break-up with my girlfriend Lauren. If you have questions about it, send me an email or something. My point in putting that information here is to inform anyone who reads this of the occurance, and mark it as a huge change that I underwent through this Lenten experience.

IN order to anticipate the resurrection of Christ through the Lenten and Easter seasons, I have been fasting as well: only eating dinner for the past 40 days. Through this experience, I have learned that I allow food to slow me down, and I depend on it far too much. It is the "American Way" to idolize the food we eat, and that is exactly what I realized I have been doing. Now that I have been denying myself the food I depend on, I have learned to depend on Jesus to provide me with my energy for the day and to maintain my health. Thus far, He has not failed in these things, and I trust Him to nourish me for these last days. One change that has taken place in my fasting habits this week came from my friends at school. We have been talking about fasting, and they suggested we do a week-long fast for this last period through Holy Week. So now, I have not eaten any food since Monday lunch. It has been Hard! Really hard. We have lost a lot of energy and had a couple days where no one wanted to do anything productive, but all of us agree that we are learning so much from this period of hardship.

--And one last thing. I will not merely forget this idea of abstinence once Easter is over and done. For the next forty days from Easter till the day of the Ascension, I will attempt to abstain from vanity. I'm not saying I'm totally obsessed with the way I look, but I do spend a lot of time thinking about what I should put on in the morning or how to make my hair look good. So, I've decided to remove both of those problems for the next 40 days. No, I'm not going to be a nudist. I'm going to wear a white t-shirt and jeans from Easter Sunday until the third of May. Also, I shaved my head!


I'll be keeping it like this for the next forty days as well, to attempt a break from my preconceived notions of what people think of me. In a lot of ways, my hair defined me when it was longer, and that shouldn't happen in a life that strives to seek Christ. I thought way too much about whether it was messed up or not, and found myself looking in the mirror a lot to fix it throughout the day. All these things aren't good. The end. I've been rambling too much, so I'll just stop here on this subject.

So anyway, Easter is right around the corner, and today has been great fasting-wise so far. Since I know I'll be able to eat tomorrow, waiting one more day doesn't seem so bad. Because of this, I've been able to enjoy the fast without worrying about my health or my hunger. Ultimately, I will say that deciding to recognize Lent has changed my life in so many ways, and all of them for the best. Thanks for taking the time to read this. News on the Ascension in 40 more days.

Seek all good things,
-Caleb-