Shalom, friends.
The wait is finally over. The fates of the five compadres have been decided, at least for another year. The big question of "CLC?" was answered last night around eleven o'clock. Before I go any further, perhaps you'd appreciate another explanation.
The Community Life Council (CLC) is a group made up of 12 members in the Fischer dorm, one for each floor, that meet at least once a week to plan events for the Fischer community to enjoy. These include things like Coffeehouse, the Beach Party, movie nights, and other events to bring together a multi-floor group. CLC is made up of sophomores only, mind you.
The supposedly most important aspect of making the council (and the one that spawns the most drama and hearsay) is first preference for housing next year. This creates an environment of competition so powerful that by the end of everything, we had all forgotten what
we were striving for in the first place. In the end, it was all about getting back on the floor and NOT going over to Evans. In the end, it wasn't about wanting CLC for an opportunity to make change in Fischer. Also, the manner of communication between those applying and those deciding became rather "high schoolish." By this, I mean that the decision process fell instantly to rumor and "he-said, she-said" discussions. I understand that those sorts of things happen all the time, but I just didn't expect it from a college council. Plus, it only added to the drama and to the shallow side of competition.
The strangest thing about all this is that I never applied! And yet, since I am rooming with Jeremy and Nick next year, I aligned myself with them without a second thought. I'll admit, I totally bought into all the aspects described above, and only now am I fully realizing my error. For example, I supported Jeremy and Nick completely, without a thought to the possibility that there might be someone better suited for CLC. Now, I'll say right here that I think Jeremy is going to do a fantastic job
(YES JEREMY GOT CLC!!! I'LL JUST LET YOU ALL KNOW RIGHT NOW! MERGH!)
but I'm saddened by my own haste in not considering the possibility that anyone else would also be fantastic. It was also pretty awkward with my roommate, who also applied for CLC and actually wanted it for the council's purpose, because he already knows that he'll be back here next year. This whole thing created a false animosity between us that was mostly just awkward silence whenever CLC came up in discussion, and now it'll be a little weird for a while since he didn't get on the council. I guess I just feel selfish. This stems directly from my desire to get back on the floor, get back on 2E, because if we don't get CLC then we have to go to Evans. That's all CLC was in the end: a ticket back on the floor.
However, I know that Jeremy really is looking forward to working with the next RA and I guess I should let him speak for himself if he wishes to comment on the post that's all about him...Jeremy?
I am pretty excited about being back in Fischer, no matter what I said above. All that doesn't change the facts: we'll be sophomores next year. We'll be able to be around the new freshmen. We'll be awesome. And most important of all, there's a ping pong table in the basement. That makes everything better.
Justice, mercy, humbleness, arête.
-Caleb-
2.28.2008
2.24.2008
Explanations
Shalom, friends.
I suppose this is the part where I explain myself and go through what this is all about. My reasons for placing my thoughts where other people can see them are varied, but this seems to be the dominant purpose: I best articulate my thoughts through writing. I know that everyone who reads this and has talked with me in person knows that my spoken words are not the perfect vessels that other people are gifted with, and my memory escapes me quite frequently. I have discovered that through writing out my thoughts and taking time to think about what I really want to say, I can better communicate what is actually going on in my head. I hope this is not seen as a selfish endeavor to gain attention, but rather a gesture of openness from my life to yours (and hopefully, the other way around as well).
I've realized that my life is changing dramatically again this semester. Having a solid group of guys that I can trust and be encouraged and be uplifted (and rebuked) by is really something that I have never had before in my life. They have taught me so many things, whether it's how to have a better ping-pong game or read my bible more often or a conversation that lasts for 4 hours just talking about what we really see in our lives. I look forward to next year, when we are all living together.
I have also found a wonderful source of conversation in these past weeks: my family. The talks we've had about our changing lives are so totally different than the words we spoke when I was still living at home. I find new things to think about every time they drop me off here or hang up the phone. This new stint of conversation seems to mirror the change in the rest of my life and makes me think that someday I actually will grow up. Not yet, but I'm getting there.
And finally, my relationship with my girlfriend Lauren has also changed dramatically over the course of this year, and even over the few weeks that I've been back at school this semester. With the fact that she is still at home while I'm away at school having new experiences, it's been hard for both of us to adjust to the new circumstances. However, I definitely think that we have both grown and become more mature in relation to each other through this separation. She's a big part of my life as well, so you'll hear a lot about her as well as my friends and my family.
Overall, I think the largest source of change in my life since I've come to college at Wheaton is my relationship with Jesus. Honestly, there wasn't much to speak about for the years I was in high school. I had developed a mentality that I was "saved," so I didn't have to do much except talk about it, pray well in front of a group, and keep up appearances. Because I had prayed "The Prayer" (you know, the one that you pray and get your ticket into heaven with), I was set for life and could do whatever I wanted and sort of take life as it came. Since I've been here, I have seen things differently. I don't think I was ever told right out that my previous thinking was flawed, but I could see something different in the actions and lives of the people I began to look up to here at school. Also, since I have started to read some of Brian McLaren's books, along with Shane Claiborne and others, I realized that I need to redevelop my view of everything. I've realized that everything must change in the way I think about God and people in order for me to truly love God and love people. As of right now, the words that I need to further explain myself are escaping me, so I will sum up by saying that I know I need God to mold my view of Him and His creation into something different than the lukewarm, apathetic version I've stuck with throughout high school, and I am trying to figure out what to do after that happens.
Well, that was long-winded. Hope I didn't frighten you off. See you later.
Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly, seek arête.
-Caleb-
I suppose this is the part where I explain myself and go through what this is all about. My reasons for placing my thoughts where other people can see them are varied, but this seems to be the dominant purpose: I best articulate my thoughts through writing. I know that everyone who reads this and has talked with me in person knows that my spoken words are not the perfect vessels that other people are gifted with, and my memory escapes me quite frequently. I have discovered that through writing out my thoughts and taking time to think about what I really want to say, I can better communicate what is actually going on in my head. I hope this is not seen as a selfish endeavor to gain attention, but rather a gesture of openness from my life to yours (and hopefully, the other way around as well).
I've realized that my life is changing dramatically again this semester. Having a solid group of guys that I can trust and be encouraged and be uplifted (and rebuked) by is really something that I have never had before in my life. They have taught me so many things, whether it's how to have a better ping-pong game or read my bible more often or a conversation that lasts for 4 hours just talking about what we really see in our lives. I look forward to next year, when we are all living together.
I have also found a wonderful source of conversation in these past weeks: my family. The talks we've had about our changing lives are so totally different than the words we spoke when I was still living at home. I find new things to think about every time they drop me off here or hang up the phone. This new stint of conversation seems to mirror the change in the rest of my life and makes me think that someday I actually will grow up. Not yet, but I'm getting there.
And finally, my relationship with my girlfriend Lauren has also changed dramatically over the course of this year, and even over the few weeks that I've been back at school this semester. With the fact that she is still at home while I'm away at school having new experiences, it's been hard for both of us to adjust to the new circumstances. However, I definitely think that we have both grown and become more mature in relation to each other through this separation. She's a big part of my life as well, so you'll hear a lot about her as well as my friends and my family.
Overall, I think the largest source of change in my life since I've come to college at Wheaton is my relationship with Jesus. Honestly, there wasn't much to speak about for the years I was in high school. I had developed a mentality that I was "saved," so I didn't have to do much except talk about it, pray well in front of a group, and keep up appearances. Because I had prayed "The Prayer" (you know, the one that you pray and get your ticket into heaven with), I was set for life and could do whatever I wanted and sort of take life as it came. Since I've been here, I have seen things differently. I don't think I was ever told right out that my previous thinking was flawed, but I could see something different in the actions and lives of the people I began to look up to here at school. Also, since I have started to read some of Brian McLaren's books, along with Shane Claiborne and others, I realized that I need to redevelop my view of everything. I've realized that everything must change in the way I think about God and people in order for me to truly love God and love people. As of right now, the words that I need to further explain myself are escaping me, so I will sum up by saying that I know I need God to mold my view of Him and His creation into something different than the lukewarm, apathetic version I've stuck with throughout high school, and I am trying to figure out what to do after that happens.
Well, that was long-winded. Hope I didn't frighten you off. See you later.
Do justice, love mercy, walk humbly, seek arête.
-Caleb-
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