One Month

Shalom, friends.

April comes, and with it brings no respite from the books. Tomorrow is the first of the month, and from there until the 8th of May, I will remain here and crunch out the final days of my first year at Wheaton. Sounds pretty dire once I put it that way, doesn't it? Well, it's not. So stop worrying.

I think this larger chunk of time without a long weekend or extra day here and there will somehow, somehow, help me to buckle down and work out the wrinkles in how I define myself--no scratch that, begin to work out those wrinkles--while still getting a better opportunity to focus on my schoolwork.

Other than that, I have the summer to look forward to, full of bartending, mowing lawns, and chilling with the chillun's down at the youth center. I hope to do some heavy writing over the months as well, meaning more than just a poem a month. At this point, it's not even anything right now. The summer will help. The summer will come. Yet, the summer is not everything. Remember these thoughts, Caleb. Ok. That's all for now. Thanks.

You know the drill,
-Caleb-

Bagel of Joy

Shalom, friends.

I can't think of a time when food has tasted better than yesterday morning. There I was, sitting at my grandmother's table in Indiana, eating a delicious cinnamon bagel with cream cheese slathered over it, already melting. Any other morning, it would have been an ordinary meal, but after not eating for 7 days and only eating dinner for 33 days before that, it was the best bagel I've ever tasted.

Just thought I'd share that with you,
-Caleb-

The Next Forty Days

Shalom, friends.

EASTER approches, and brings with it changes, anticipation, and hair loss.

TO begin, I have been thinking a considerable amount about the idea of abstinence. Not the sex version that everyone always thinks of when they hear the word, but the dictionary definition. Dictionary.com defines abstinence as "any self-restraint, self-denial, or forbearance." This year, I have celebrated the Lenten season for the first time, and the main focus of Lent is the idea of abstinence. That is why people give up something for Lent, something they want and indulge in frequently. Giving up something like chocolate does not line up with the idea of Lent, because unless you idolize chocolate or eating it hinders your communication with God, you are not recognizing Lent in the way it was orginally intended. All this is to say that I began with giving up video games for Lent, because I was using too much of my time to zonk out to a TV or computer screen.

ANOTHER thing that has changed my life dramatically during Lent has been my break-up with my girlfriend Lauren. If you have questions about it, send me an email or something. My point in putting that information here is to inform anyone who reads this of the occurance, and mark it as a huge change that I underwent through this Lenten experience.

IN order to anticipate the resurrection of Christ through the Lenten and Easter seasons, I have been fasting as well: only eating dinner for the past 40 days. Through this experience, I have learned that I allow food to slow me down, and I depend on it far too much. It is the "American Way" to idolize the food we eat, and that is exactly what I realized I have been doing. Now that I have been denying myself the food I depend on, I have learned to depend on Jesus to provide me with my energy for the day and to maintain my health. Thus far, He has not failed in these things, and I trust Him to nourish me for these last days. One change that has taken place in my fasting habits this week came from my friends at school. We have been talking about fasting, and they suggested we do a week-long fast for this last period through Holy Week. So now, I have not eaten any food since Monday lunch. It has been Hard! Really hard. We have lost a lot of energy and had a couple days where no one wanted to do anything productive, but all of us agree that we are learning so much from this period of hardship.

--And one last thing. I will not merely forget this idea of abstinence once Easter is over and done. For the next forty days from Easter till the day of the Ascension, I will attempt to abstain from vanity. I'm not saying I'm totally obsessed with the way I look, but I do spend a lot of time thinking about what I should put on in the morning or how to make my hair look good. So, I've decided to remove both of those problems for the next 40 days. No, I'm not going to be a nudist. I'm going to wear a white t-shirt and jeans from Easter Sunday until the third of May. Also, I shaved my head!


I'll be keeping it like this for the next forty days as well, to attempt a break from my preconceived notions of what people think of me. In a lot of ways, my hair defined me when it was longer, and that shouldn't happen in a life that strives to seek Christ. I thought way too much about whether it was messed up or not, and found myself looking in the mirror a lot to fix it throughout the day. All these things aren't good. The end. I've been rambling too much, so I'll just stop here on this subject.

So anyway, Easter is right around the corner, and today has been great fasting-wise so far. Since I know I'll be able to eat tomorrow, waiting one more day doesn't seem so bad. Because of this, I've been able to enjoy the fast without worrying about my health or my hunger. Ultimately, I will say that deciding to recognize Lent has changed my life in so many ways, and all of them for the best. Thanks for taking the time to read this. News on the Ascension in 40 more days.

Seek all good things,
-Caleb-